


Sympathy For The Devil (5.01)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [83]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Acting in Unison, Angel Banishing Sigil, Angel Blade, Apocalypse, Castle Storage, Dean's Amulet, Demon Blood, Demonology, Enochian, God - Freeform, Hex Bags, Hugs, Impala, John's Journal, John's Lock-Up, Meatsuit, Sam Girls, Star Wars - Freeform, Super Fans, The Host of Heaven, Vessel, Warding Sigils, Wincest - Freeform, angel lore, bobby's hats, sammy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 20:29:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8910883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: Sam, Dean, n' Bobby must deal wit tha aftermath of tha Devilz escape from Hell, n' receive startlin shizzle from tha Prophet Chuck.





	1. Now

**_CHAPEL_ **

_INT. CHAPEL – NIGHT_

There is no visible moment of demarcation between tha final momentz of [4.22 Lucifer Rising](http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=4.22_Lucifer_Rising) n' tha straight-up original gangsta moments afta tha previousliez of [5.01 Sympathy fo' tha Devil](http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=5.01_Sympathy_for_the_Devil).

**DEAN  
** Come on!

SAM finally lets DEAN pull his ass away from tha sigil. They run, n' tha doors slam shut. They rattle tha doors. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Seen from tha far side, light bursts all up in cracks up in tha door.

A high-pitched noise. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM turns ta peep DEAN, n' both look back all up in tha light. They squeeze they eyes shut, SAM holdin up a hand ta block tha light, n' cover they ears. They fall ta they knees.

Da light reaches tha straight-up edgez of tha sigil, then whites up every last muthafuckin thang.

**_PLANE_ **

_INT. PLANE – NIGHT_

A cartoon red DEVIL leans over a big-ass open book.

**DEVIL  
** What tha devil is yo' name?

**YOSEMITE SAM  
** Sa-Sa-Sa-Sa-Yo-Yosemite Sam.

**DEVIL  
** Yosemite Sam?

Da DEVIL flips all up in tha book. Da view shifts away from what tha fuck be apparently tha in-flight porno, "[Devilz Feud Cake](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devil%27s_Feud_Cake)".

**DEVIL  
** Letz peep fo' realz. Ah, here it is. I could bust a muthafucka like you, biatch.

DEAN n' SAM is chillin on a plane, contorted exactly as they was a moment ago up in tha chapel. They look around, astounded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! No one round dem seems ta have noticed anything.

**DEAN  
** What tha hell?

**SAM  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck.

**PILOT (over intercom)  
** Folks, quick word from tha flight deck. Us playas just passin over Ilchester, then Ellicott City, on our initial descent tha fuck into Baltimore—

**DEAN  
** Ilchester, biatch? Weren't our laid-back asses just there?

_INT. COCKPIT – NIGHT_

**PILOT  
** So if you'd like ta stretch yo' legs, now would be a phat time to—

Da ordinary bird's-eye view of Maryland at night is interrupted by a cold-ass lil column of light blastin tha fuck into tha sky.

**PILOT  
** Holy crap!

Da shock wave knocks tha plane off kilter n' shit. Muthafuckas is thrown round tha plane, screaming. Oxygen masks drop down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN put theirs on as tha white light outside grows blinding. Da high-pitched noise is back. DEAN looks up tha window, terrified.

 


	2. Act One

**_CAR_ **

_INT. CAR – NIGHT_

SAM n' DEAN drive up in a rented car.

 **RADIO ANNOUNCER 1  
** —and Governor O'Malley urged calm sayin itz straight-up unlikely a abandoned convent would be a target fo' terrorists, either foreign or homegrown.

 **DEAN  
** Change tha station.

SAM pokes a funky-ass button on tha digital radio.

 **RADIO ANNOUNCER 2  
** —Hurricane Kinley, unexpectedly slammin tha fuck into tha Galveston area—

 **RADIO ANNOUNCER 3  
** —announced a successful test of tha Uptown Korean nuclear—

 **RADIO ANNOUNCER 4  
** —a seriez of tremors—

 **RADIO ANNOUNCER 5  
** —swine flu—

Da radio shuts off. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM sighs. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Silence.

 **SAM  
** Dean, look—

 **DEAN  
** Don't say anything.

A pause.

 **DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but all gravy. Us playas just gots ta keep our headz down n' hash dis out, all right?

A pause.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, aiiight.

 **DEAN  
** All right, well, first thangs first—How tha fuck did we end up on Soul Plane?

 **SAM  
** Angels, maybe, biatch? I mean, you know, beamin our asses outta harmz way?

 **DEAN  
** Well, whatever n' shit. It aint nuthin but tha least of our worries. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! We need ta find Cas.

**_CHUCK'S HOUSE_ **

_INT. CHUCK'S HOUSE – DAY_

SAM n' DEAN strutt all up in tha devastated crib fo' realz. A noise, n' they both turn: nothing. They keep lookin around.

CHUCK jumps up n' hits SAM on tha head wit a toilet plunger n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM stumblez back, hand ta his head.

 **SAM  
** Geez! Ow!

 **CHUCK  
** Sam.

 **SAM  
** Yeah!

 **DEAN  
** Yo, Chuck.

 **CHUCK  
** So...yo ass be aiiight?

 **SAM  
** Well, mah head hurts.

 **CHUCK  
** Fuck dat shit, I mean—I mean, my—My fuckin last vision. Yo ass went, like, full-on Vader. Yo crazy-ass body temperature was one-fifty. Yo crazy-ass ass rate was two hundred. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo crazy-ass eyes was black.

 **DEAN  
** Yo crazy-ass eyes went black?

SAM looks back over his shoulder.

 **SAM  
** I didn't give a fuck.

 **DEAN  
** Wherez Cas?

 **CHUCK  
** Dat punk dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Or gone. Da archangel smote tha crap outta his muthafuckin ass. I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass is sure, biatch? I mean, maybe he just vanished tha fuck into tha light or something.

 **CHUCK  
** Oh, no yo. He, like, blew up like a muthafucka. Like a wata balloon of chunky soup.

SAM takes a cold-ass lil closer peep CHUCK n' waves a hand at his own left ear.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass gots a—

CHUCK waves a hand at his own right ear.

 **CHUCK  
** Uh...right here?

SAM indicates tha other side of CHUCKz head.

 **SAM  
** Uh, the...

CHUCK feels at his hair.

 **CHUCK  
** Oh. Oh, god.

CHUCK pulls suttin' out.

 **CHUCK  
** Is dat a molar?

It is.

 **CHUCK  
** Do I gots a molar up in mah hair, biatch? This has been a straight-up stressful day.

 **DEAN  
** Cas, you wack bastard.

 **SAM  
** Stupid, biatch? Dude was tryin ta help us.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, exactly.

 **SAM  
** So, what tha fuck now?

 **DEAN  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck.

 **CHUCK  
** Oh, crap.

 **SAM  
** What?

 **CHUCK  
** I can feel dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Thought we'd find you here.

SAM n' DEAN turn around: ZACHARIAH is there, two ANGELS accompanyin his muthafuckin ass.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Playtimez over, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Time ta come wit us.

DEAN points at ZACHARIAH.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass just keep yo' distance, asshat.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Yo ass is upset.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah fo' realz. A lil. Yo ass lil playaz of biiiatches jump-started judgment day!

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Maybe our slick asses let it happen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Us dudes didn't start anything. Right, Sammy?

ZACHARIAH winks.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Yo ass had a cold-ass lil chizzle ta stop yo' brother, n' you couldn't. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So letz not quibble over whoz ass started what. Letz just say it was all our faults n' move on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 'Cause like it or not— itz Apocalypse Now. And we back on tha same crew again.

 **DEAN  
** Is dat so?

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Yo ass wanna bust a cap up in tha devil. Us thugs want you ta bust a cap up in tha devil. It's...synergy.

 **DEAN  
** And I be just supposed ta trust yo slick ass? Cram it wit walnuts, skanky.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** This aint a game, son. Lucifer is bangin up in ways dat defy description. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We need ta strike now, hard n' fast—before he findz his vessel.

 **SAM  
** His vessel, biatch? Lucifer needz a meat suit?

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Dude be a angel. Themz tha rules. And when tha pimpin' muthafucka touches down, we poppin' off Four Horsemen, red oceans, fiery skies, the top billin hits, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Yo ass can stop him, Dean yo, but you need our help.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass dig me, you two-faced douche. Afta what tha fuck you did, I don't want jack squat from you, nahmean biiiatch?

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Yo ass dig me, pimp dawwwwg! Yo ass be thinkin you can rebel against us, biatch? As Lucifer did?

Blood drips from DEANz hand.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Yo ass is bleeding.

 **DEAN  
** Oh, yeah—a lil insurizzle policy up in case you dicks flossed up.

DEAN slaps his bloody hand on a [Angel Banishin Sigil](http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=Angel_Banishing_Sigil) drawn behind a thugged-out door.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** No!

SAM n' CHUCK flinch. ZACHARIAH vanishes up in white light. When DEAN looks, tha other ANGELS is gone as well.

 **DEAN  
** Learned dat from mah playa Cas, you lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch.

 **CHUCK  
** This sucks ass.

**_MOTEL_ **

_EXT. REGENT INN MOTEL – DAY_

SAM rushes down a staircase past a cold-ass lil couple makin up n' entas tha motel.

_INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY_

DEAN loadz a gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM entas tha room.

 **DEAN  
** Hey.

 **SAM  
** Hey.

SAM closes tha door, pulls suttin' outta his shirt, n' tosses it ta DEAN. DEAN catches it n' examines dat shit.

 **SAM  
** Here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho yo. Hex bags. No way tha angels will find our asses wit them. Demons, either, fo' dat matter.

 **DEAN  
** Where'd you git it?

 **SAM  
** I made dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** How?

SAM hesitates long enough fo' DEAN ta look up at his muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM  
** I...I hustled it from Ruby.

DEAN puts tha glock down n' approaches SAM.

 **DEAN  
** Speakin of yo. How tha fuck you bustin, biatch? Is you jonesin fo' another hit of biiiatch blood or what?

 **SAM  
** I-itz weird. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Uh, rap tha real deal, I be fine. No shakes, no fever n' shit. It aint nuthin but like whoever...put me on dat plane cleaned mah crazy ass right up.

 **DEAN  
** Supernatural methadone.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, I guess.

SAM pauses.

 **SAM  
** Dean—

 **DEAN  
** Sam.

DEAN turns away.

 **DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but all gravy. Yo ass don't gotta say anything.

 **SAM  
** Well, thatz good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Because what tha fuck can I even say, biatch? "I be sorry", biatch? "I screwed up", biatch? Don't straight-up do it justice, you know, biatch? Look, there be a not a god damn thang I can do or say dat will eva make dis right—

 **DEAN  
** So why do you keep brangin it up?!

SAM sighs. DEAN turns back ta his muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN  
** Look, all I be sayin is, why do we gotta put dis under a microscope, biatch? We done cooked up a mess. We clean it up. Thatz dat shit.

SAM nods.

 **DEAN  
** All right, so, say dis is just any other hunt. Yo ass know, biatch? What do our phat asses do first?

 **SAM  
** We'd, uh, git into where tha thang is.

 **DEAN  
** All right. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So our laid-back asses just gots ta find...the devil.

**_NICK'S HOUSE_ **

_EXT. NICK'S HOUSE – NIGHT_

**_Pike Creek, Delaware_ **

A MAN (his name is NICK) strutts along tha sidewalk ta his crib yo. Dude opens his wild lil' front gate, which creaks, n' lets it swin shut behind his muthafuckin ass fo' realz. A wind picks up, swingin tha gate forward n' back, n' NICK turns back ta look. Da gate bangs open n' shut.

_INT. NICK'S BEDROOM – NIGHT_

NICK lies up in bed, ridin' solo n' restless yo. Dude pulls his handz up from under tha blankets: they bloodstained. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude tosses tha blankets back n' there be a funky-ass blood all over his ass n' tha sheets, a shitload of it, as though one of mah thugs bled ta dirtnap a moment ago. NICK gets outta bed n' switches on tha bedside light. Therez no blood.

 **NICK  
** All right, keep it together n' shit. Keep it together, man.

NICK turns off tha light n' lies down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude rolls over n' there be a a WOMAN up in bed next ta him, blood on her cheek yo. Dude sits up, shocked: he knows her—her name is SARAH—and tha last thang he expected was ta peep her muthafuckin ass.

 **SARAH  
** It aint nuthin but you, Nick. Yo ass is special. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Yo ass is chosen.

NICK shakes his head, disbelieving, n' covers his wild lil' fuckin eyes wit one hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! When he looks back, SARAH is gone.

 


	3. Act Two

**_BECKY'S ROOM_ **

_INT. BEDROOM – DAY_

A WOMAN named BECKY, whose bedroom walls have poster-size printz of tha coverz of Carver Edlundz  _Supernatural:_[ _Route 666_](http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=1.13_Route_666) n'  _Supernatural:_[ _Da Benders_](http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=1.15_The_Benders), sits at her computer, typin n' readin aloud.

 **BECKY  
** "And then Sam touched—" No. "—caressed Deanz clavicle. 'This is wrong,' holla'd Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 'Then I don't wanna be right,' replied Sam, up in a husky voice."

A message appears on her screen:  ** _CARVER EDLUND CALLING_**

BECKY frowns n' clicks Accept. Da window expandz ta a vizzlephone: itz CHUCK yo. Dude glances over his shoulder n' back. BECKY covers her grill, buckwild enough dat it causes her hang-up bustin lyrics.

 **BECKY  
** Oh...my...god. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass fo'sho. You're...

 **CHUCK  
** Carver Edlund, yeah. Yea muthafucka, Becky.

 **BECKY  
** Yo ass gots mah lettas fo' realz. And mah marzipan.

CHUCK can't like hook up her eyes.

 **CHUCK  
** Yeah, yeah. Um...yummy. But, uh—

 **BECKY  
** I be yo' number-one fan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass know, I be samlicker81.

 **CHUCK  
** I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. You're—Yo ass is what?

 **BECKY  
** Webmistress at morethanbrothers dot net?

 **CHUCK  
** Oh. Yeah. Fuck dat shit, yeah. Yo ass is my...number-one fan.

BECKY grins.

 **CHUCK  
** Thatz why I contacted you, biatch. Yo ass is tha only one whoz ass will believe mah dirty ass.

CHUCK looks heavenward. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! BECKY frowns, concerned.

 **BECKY  
** Is you all right?

 **CHUCK  
** No. I be bein watched. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Okay, not, not now—at least, I don't be thinkin so. But I aint gots much time. I need yo' help.

BECKY switches back ta overexcited.

 **BECKY  
** Yo ass need mah help?

 **CHUCK  
** Thatz right. I need you ta git a message ta Sam n' Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Okay?

BECKY sighs, realitizzle intruding.

 **BECKY  
** Look, Mista Muthafuckin Edlund... Yes, I be a gangbangin' hustla yo, but I straight-up don't appreciate bein mocked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I know dat  _Supernatural'_ s just a funky-ass book, aiiight, biatch? I know tha difference between fantasy n' reality.

 **CHUCK  
** Becky, itz all real.

BECKY snaps back ta overexcitedness.

 **BECKY  
** I knew dat shiznit son!

**_MOTEL_ **

_INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY_

SAM stares at Johnz journal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. DEAN is watchin TV.

 **VOICE 1  
** How tha fuck would you then explain a earthquake, a hurricane, n' multiple tornadoes, all all up in tha same time, all round tha globe?

 **VOICE 2  
** Two lyrics. Carbon emissions.

 **DEAN (to environmentalist on TV)  
** Yeah, right, wavy gravy.

There be a knock all up in tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. DEAN pulls his wild lil' freakadelic gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM lyrics. It aint nuthin but BECKY, so buckwild dat freaky freaky biatch havin shiznit breathing.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass aiiight, lady?

 **BECKY  
** Sam...is it straight-up yo slick ass?

SAM glances back at DEAN. BECKY steps closer n' puts a hand on SAMz chest.

 **BECKY  
** And you so firm.

 **SAM  
** Uh, do I know yo slick ass?

BECKY pulls back. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM continues ta stare, bewildered.

 **BECKY  
** No. But I know you, biatch. Yo ass is Sam Winchesta n' shiznit fo' realz. And you is—

BECKY looks at DEAN, whoz starin at her, his wild lil' freakadelic glock hand outta sight.

 **BECKY  
** —not what tha fuck I pictured. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be Becky.

BECKY pushes past SAM tha fuck into tha room.

 **BECKY  
** I read all bout you muthafuckas fo' realz. And I've even freestyled a gangbangin' few—

BECKY glances down, gigglin a lil.

 **BECKY  
** Anyway, Mista Muthafuckin Edlund holla'd at mah crazy ass where you were.

DEAN standz up.

 **DEAN  
** Chuck?

SAM closes tha door.

 **BECKY  
** Dat punk gots a message yo, but his thugged-out lil' punk-ass bein watched. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Angels. Sick chizzle-up ta tha mythology, by tha way. Da demon shiznit was gettin kind of old.

 **SAM  
** Right. Just, um...whatz tha message?

 **BECKY  
** Dude had a vision. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "Da Mike sword is on earth. Da angels lost dat shit."

 **DEAN  
** Da Mike sword?

 **SAM  
** Becky, do he know where it is?

 **BECKY  
** In a cold-ass lil castle, on a hill made of forty-two dawgs.

 **DEAN  
** Forty-two dawgs?

 **SAM  
** Are...you shizzle you gots dat right?

 **BECKY  
** It don't make sense yo, but thatz what tha fuck da perved-out muthafucka holla'd.

BECKY steps closer ta SAM.

 **BECKY  
** I memorized every last muthafuckin word.

BECKY touches SAMz chest.

 **BECKY  
** For you, biatch.

SAM glances over at DEAN n' down at BECKY: awkward.

 **SAM  
** Um, Becky, c—uh, can you, biatch...quit touchin me son?

 **BECKY  
** No.

**_MOTEL, LATER_ **

_EXT. REGENT INN MOTEL – DAY_

BOBBY arrives up in tha Impala.

_INT. MOTEL ROOM – DAY_

A knock on tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. DEAN opens dat shit. It aint nuthin but BOBBY.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, Bobby.

BOBBY hugs DEAN, slappin his ass on tha back.

 **BOBBY  
** Dope ta peep you thugs all up in one piece.

BOBBY hugs SAM, whoz grinning. DEAN closes tha door.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass weren't followed, was yo slick ass?

 **BOBBY  
** Yo ass mean by angels, demons, or Samz freshly smoked up superfan?

SAM laughs.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass heard.

 **BOBBY  
** I heard, Romeo. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So...sword of Michael, huh?

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass be thinkin we poppin' off bout tha actual sword from tha actual archangel?

 **BOBBY  
** Yo ass betta friggin' hope so.

BOBBY opens a funky-ass book ta a paintin of Mike surrounded by other angels. In dis painting, Mike be lookin like a winged biatch n' tha other angels like naked babies wit wings.

 **BOBBY  
** Thatz Michael. Toughest lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch they got.

SAM flips ta another paintin fo' realz. Again, Mike has a gangbangin' feminine face.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass kiddin me son, biatch? Tough, biatch? That muthafucka be lookin like Cate Blanchett.

 **BOBBY  
** Well, I wouldn't wanna hook up his ass up in a thugged-out dark alley, believe mah dirty ass yo. Dude commandz tha heavenly host. Durin tha last big-ass dust-up upstairs, tha pimpin' muthafucka tha one whoz ass booted Luciferz ass ta tha basement. Did it wit dat sword.

BOBBY points ta tha sword up in tha painted Michaelz hand.

 **BOBBY  
** So if we can find dat shit...

 **SAM  
** We can kick tha devilz ass all over again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. All right. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, where do we start?

 **BOBBY  
** Divvy up n' start reading—try n' make sense of Chuckz nonsense.

SAM gets up n' headz fo' a pile of oldschool books, presumably brought by BOBBY yo. Dude stares all up in tha books fo' a long-ass moment, not reachin fo' dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **BOBBY  
** Kid, biatch? Y'all right?

SAM turns ta grill BOBBY.

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, actually. Bobby, dis be all mah fault. I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit.

 **DEAN  
** Sam...

 **SAM  
** Lilith did not break tha final seal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Lilith was tha final seal.

 **DEAN  
** Sam, stop dat shit.

 **SAM  
** I capped her, n' I set Lucifer free.

 **BOBBY  
** Yo ass what?

 **SAM  
** Yo ass muthafuckas warned mah crazy ass bout Ruby, tha demon blood yo, but I didn't listen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I brought dis on.

DEAN say nothing. BOBBY standz up n' strutts closer.

 **BOBBY  
** Yo ass is damn right you didn't listen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass was reckless n' selfish n' arrogant.

 **SAM  
** I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit.

 **BOBBY  
** Oh, yeah, biatch? Yo ass is sorry you started Armageddon, biatch? This kind of thang don't git forgiven, boy. If, by some miracle, we pull dis off...I want you ta lose mah number n' shit. Yo ass KNOW me son?

SAM nodz yo. His expression barely chizzles: dis can't be much different from what tha fuck he expected. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. DEAN don't protest.

 **SAM  
** Therez a oldschool church nearby. Maybe I be bout ta go read a shitload of tha lore books there.

 **BOBBY  
** Yeah. Yo ass do that.

SAM leaves. BOBBY turns back ta DEAN, whoz ass stays silent.

_EXT. REGENT INN MOTEL – DAY_

SAM strutts along tha street.

_INT. MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT?_

BOBBY n' DEAN sit bustin research.

 **BOBBY  
** I never would have guessed dat yo' daddy was right.

 **DEAN  
** Bout what?

 **BOBBY  
** Bout yo' brother.

DEAN looks up.

 **BOBBY  
** What Jizzy holla'd—you save Sam or bust a cap up in his muthafuckin ass. Maybe...

 **DEAN  
** Maybe what?

 **BOBBY  
** Maybe we shouldn't have tried so hard ta save his muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN  
** Bobby.

 **BOBBY  
** Dude ended tha ghetto, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And you n' I weren't phat enough ta stop his ass proper n' shit. Thatz on us. I be just saying, yo' daddy was right.

 **DEAN  
** Dad.

DEAN rummages all up in his bag yo. Dude pulls up a plastic Ziplock full of cards.

 **DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but gots ta be up in here somewhere.

 **BOBBY  
** What tha hell is you poppin' off about?

 **DEAN  
** Here.

DEAN pulls one up n' readz dat shit. BOBBY standz up. DEAN comes over.

 **DEAN  
** I don't believe dat shit.

 **BOBBY  
** What tha hell is it?

 **DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but a cold-ass lil card fo' mah dadz lockup up in upstate New York. Read dat shit.

BOBBY takes tha card.

 **BOBBY  
** "Castle Storage. 42 Rover Hill."

 **DEAN  
** Castle on a hill of forty-two dawgs.

DEAN takes tha card back.

 **BOBBY  
** So you be thinkin yo' daddy had tha Mike sword all dis time?

 **DEAN  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck. I aint shizzle what tha fuck else Chuck could have meant.

 **BOBBY  
** Yeah. Okay. It aint nuthin but phat enough fo' mah dirty ass.

BOBBY attacks DEAN, knockin his ass all up in tha barrier between tha kitchenette n' tha beds. BOBBY yanks DEAN up n' slams his ass down again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. BOBBYz eyes go black.

 


	4. Act Three

**_MOTEL_ **

_INT. MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT?_

'BOBBY' grabs DEAN by tha throat n' drags his ass ta his Nikes fo' realz. A FEMALE DEMON enters, a MALE DEMON behind her muthafuckin ass.

 **FEMALE DEMON  
** I always knew you was a funky-ass big, dumb, slow, dim pain up in tha ass, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But I never dreamed you was so V.I.P.

Da FEMALE DEMON sees Rubyz knife on tha table n' picks it up.

 **FEMALE DEMON  
** I mean, you gonna ice tha devil, biatch? You, biatch? If I'd have known that, I'd have ripped yo' pretty, pretty grill off ages ago.

 **DEAN  
** Ruby.

 **FEMALE DEMON  
** Try again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Go back further.

 **DEAN  
** Meg?

 **MEG  
** Yo! These is tha minutez of miracle n' wonder, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Our fatherz among us. Yo ass know we all trippin again n' again n' again fo' tha last time since we was human, biatch? It aint nuthin but heaven on earth. Or hell. We straight-up owe yo' brutha a gangbangin' fruit basket.

 **DEAN  
** My fuckin god, you like tha sound of yo' own voice.

 **MEG  
** But you, on tha other hand, you tha only bump up in tha road. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! So every last muthafuckin demon—every single one—is just dyin fo' a piece of you, biatch.

DEAN smirks.

 **DEAN  
** Git up in line.

 **MEG  
** Oh, I be up in tha front of tha line, baby. Letz ride.

MEG kisses DEAN.

 **DEAN  
** What tha fuck iz that, peanut butter?

 **MEG  
** Yo ass know, yo' surrogate daddyz still awake beatboxin up in there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho fo' realz. And I want his ass ta know how tha fuck it feels slicin tha game outta you, biatch.

MEG handz tha knife ta 'BOBBY', whoz ass raises it ta DEANz throat. DEAN struggles.

 **DEAN  
** Bobby!

'BOBBY' looks back at MEG.

 **MEG  
** Now!

'BOBBY' raises tha knife ta stab DEAN.

 **DEAN  
** Bobby dawwwwg! No!

Da black fades from 'BOBBYz eyes. Da knife comes down n' BOBBY flashes gold as tha demon 'BOBBY' dies: BOBBY jabbed his dirty ass. BOBBY collapses.

DEAN rushes MEG n' tha MALE DEMON. Da MALE DEMON slams DEAN tha fuck into tha wall, then tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM entas n' sees BOBBY on tha floor bleedin n' DEAN gettin beaten.

 **SAM  
** No!

 **MEG  
** Heya, Sammy. Yo ass miss me son, biatch? 'Cause I shizzle missed you, biatch.

 **SAM  
** Meg?

MEG grins. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM swings n' misses. MEG kicks his ass up in tha crotch n' knocks his ass ta tha ground while tha MALE DEMON poundz DEAN.

 **MEG  
** It aint nuthin but not so easy as fuck without dem super-special demon powers, huh, Sammy?

Da MALE DEMON kicks DEAN. MEG punches SAM. DEAN kicks tha feet up from under tha MALE DEMON, grabs tha knife outta BOBBYz stomach n' stabs tha MALE DEMON up in tha chest. DEAN standz up. MEG backs away. DEAN advances. MEG screams n' smokes outta tha WOMAN, whoz ass collapses. DEAN lowers tha knife.

**_NICK'S HOUSE_ **

_INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT_

**_Pike Creek, Delaware_ **

NICK carries a funky-ass blanket n' teddy bears past a gangbangin' freestandin baby rocker ta a cold-ass lil cardboard box. Da rocker starts movin on its own. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. NICK turns ta look, then goes over n' stops dat shit.

A babyz cry like a muthafucka. NICK digs frantically all up in tha box n' pulls up a funky-ass baby monitor yo. Dude stares at it, listenin ta tha crying.

_INT. NURSERY – NIGHT_

NICK opens tha door, still listenin yo. Dude stares all up in tha crib fo' a moment. Da bustin up like a biatch goes silent yo. Dude turns on tha light. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Silence yo. Dude turns away n' tha bustin up like a biatch begins again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude turns back n' sees blood pourin outta tha crib onto tha carpet.

 **NICK  
** No...

NICK goes up ta tha crib n' falls ta his knees, sobbing.

Da crib is empty. Well shiiiit, it n' tha carpet is clean.

**_EMERGENCY ROOM_ **

_INT. EMERGENCY ROOM – NIGHT_

DEAN n' SAM burst tha fuck into a hospitizzle emergency room, carryin BOBBY.

 **DEAN  
** Need some help here!

 **NURSE  
** What happened?

 **SAM  
** Dude was jabbed.

 **NURSE  
** Can we git a gurney?

Two NURSES rush a gurney over ta BOBBY.

 **DEAN  
** Hang on, Bobby yo. Hang up in there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Yo ass is gonna be aiiight.

They git BOBBY onto tha gurney n' rush his ass off. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN follow. Da NURSE stops dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **NURSE  
** Just wait here.

 **SAM  
** We can't just leave his muthafuckin ass.

 **NURSE  
** Just don't move. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I gots thangs.

Da NURSE leaves.

 **DEAN  
** Sammy, we gots ta bounce tha fuck out.

 **SAM  
** No. No way, Dean.

 **DEAN  
** Da demons heard where tha sword is. We gots ta git ta it before they do, if our asses aint too late already. Come on!

DEAN leaves. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM bigs up.

**_JOHN'S LOCKUP_ **

_EXT. ROAD – NIGHT_

Da Impala rushes along.

_EXT. CASTLE STORAGE – NIGHT_

DEAN opens tha trunk yo. Dude n' SAM load glocks n' close tha trunk. DEAN unlocks tha storage room, SAM standin watch.

_INT. JOHN'S LOCKUP – NIGHT_

SAM n' DEAN enta tha room, shotguns ready. They find dead demons sprawled across tha floor.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** I peep you holla'd all up in tha demons where tha sword is.

DEAN n' SAM turn, so check it before ya wreck it. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. ZACHARIAH is there wit two ANGELS escorting.

 **DEAN  
** Oh, give props ta god. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da angels is here.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** And ta think...they could have grabbed it any time they wanted.

ZACHARIAH waves a hand ta close tha door.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Dat shiznit was right up in front of dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **SAM  
** What do you mean?

 **ZACHARIAH  
** We may have planted dat particular piece of prophecy inside Chuckz skull yo, but it happened ta be true. Us dudes did lose tha Mike sword. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! We truly couldn't find dat shit. Until now, nahmeean, biatch? You've just hand-delivered it ta us.

 **DEAN  
** Us dudes aint gots anything.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** It aint nuthin but you, chucklehead. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass is tha Mike sword.

DEAN stares.

 


	5. Act Four

**JOHN'S LOCKUP**

_INT. JOHN'S LOCKUP – NIGHT_

ZACHARIAH continues ta address DEAN.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** What, you thought you could straight-up bust a cap up in Lucifer, biatch? Yo ass simperin wad of insecuritizzle n' self-loathing, biatch? No. Yo ass is just a human, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And not much of one.

 **DEAN  
** What do you mean, I be tha sword?

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Yo ass is Michaelz weapon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Or, rather, his...receptacle.

 **DEAN  
** I be a vessel?

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Yo ass is  _the_  vessel. Michaelz vessel.

 **DEAN  
** How, biatch? Why—why me son?

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Because you chosen! It aint nuthin but a pimped out honor, Dean.

 **DEAN  
** Oh, yeah. Yeah, game as a angel condom. Thatz real fun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I be thinkin I be bout ta pass, props.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Jokin fo' realz. Always clownin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well...no mo' jokes.

ZACHARIAH raises one hand, fingers like a gun, n' points at DEAN, then shifts ta SAM.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Bang.

A bangin crunch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM falls, unable ta stand.

 **SAM  
** God!

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch!

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Keep grillin off, I be bout ta break mo' than his fuckin legs. I be straight-up n' utterly all up in screwin around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da war has begun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Us dudes aint gots our general. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Thatz bad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Now, Mike is goin ta take his vessel n' lead tha final charge against tha adversary. Yo ass KNOW me son?

 **DEAN  
** How tha fuck nuff humans take a thugged-out dirtnap up in tha crossfire, huh, biatch? A million, biatch? Five, ten?

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Probably mo' n' mo' n' mo'. If Lucifer goes unchecked, you know how tha fuck nuff die, biatch? All of dem wild-ass muthafuckas yo. Dude bout ta roast tha hood kickin it.

 **DEAN  
** Therez a reason you spittin some lyrics ta me dis instead of just nabbin mah dirty ass. Yo ass need mah consent. Mike needz mah say-so ta ride round up in mah skin.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Unfortunately, yes.

 **DEAN  
** Well, there be a gots ta be another way.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** There is no other way. There must be a funky-ass battle. Mike must defeat tha serpent. Well shiiiit, it is written.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, maybe. But, on tha other hand... Eat mah dirty ass. Da answerz no.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Okay yo. How tha fuck bout this, biatch? Yo crazy-ass playa Bobby—we know he gravely fucked up. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Say fo'sho, n' we'll heal his muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Say no, he'll never strutt again.

SAM glances up at DEAN.

 **DEAN  
** No.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Then how tha fuck bout our crazy asses heal you from...stage-four stomach cancer?

DEAN doublez over, coughin yo. Dude spits tha fuck into his thugged-out lil' palm: blood.

 **DEAN  
** No.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Then letz git straight-up creative. Uh, letz peep how...Sam do without his fuckin lungs.

DEAN turns ta peep SAM, whoz ass gasps fo' breath.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Is our crazy asses havin funk yet, biatch? Yo ass is goin ta say fo'sho, Dean.

 **DEAN  
** Just bust a cap up in us.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** Bust a cap up in yo slick ass, biatch? Oh, no. I be just gettin started.

Bright light flashes. ZACHARIAH turns. One of tha ANGELS collapses, a funky-ass bloody hole up in his cold-ass throat. CASTIEL standz beside his muthafuckin ass. Da other ANGEL fights CASTIEL. DEAN n' ZACHARIAH stare; SAM tries ta take a funky-ass breath. CASTIEL n' tha ANGEL slam each other around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! CASTIEL stabs tha other angel up in tha back. Bright light flashes. ZACHARIAH stares. CASTIEL strutts closer n' shit. In tha background, SAM is still n' silent.

 **ZACHARIAH  
** How tha fuck is you, biatch...

 **CASTIEL  
** Kickin It, biatch? Thatz a phat question. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. How tha fuck did these two end up on dat airplane, biatch? Another phat question. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 'Cause tha angels didn't do dat shit. I be thinkin we both know tha answer, don't we?

 **ZACHARIAH  
** No. Thatz not possible.

 **CASTIEL  
** It scares you, biatch. Well, it should. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Now, put these thugs back together n' go. I won't ask twice.

ZACHARIAH vanishes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks up n' around, surprised. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! DEAN n' SAM stand up.

 **CASTIEL  
** Yo ass two need ta be mo' careful.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, I be startin ta git dis shit. Yo crazy-ass frat brothers is bigger dicks than I thought.

 **CASTIEL  
** I don't mean tha angels. Lucifer is circlin his vessel fo' realz. And once tha pimpin' muthafucka takes it, dem hex bags won't be enough ta protect you, biatch.

CASTIEL puts one hand on DEANz chest, tha other on SAM's. DEAN n' SAM gasp.

 **DEAN  
** What tha hell was that?

 **CASTIEL  
** An Enochian sigil. It'll hide you from every last muthafuckin angel up in creation, includin Lucifer.

 **DEAN  
** What, did you just brand our asses wit it?

 **CASTIEL  
** No. I carved it tha fuck into yo' ribs.

A pause.

 **SAM  
** Yo, Cas, was you straight-up dead?

 **CASTIEL  
** Yes yes y'all.

 **DEAN  
** Then how tha fuck is yo dirty ass back?

CASTIEL vanishes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN is ridin' solo wit tha dead as fuckin fried chicken.

**_NICK'S HOUSE_ **

_INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT_

NICK lies up in bed up in a empty room.

 **SARAH  
** Nick.

NICK sits up. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SARAH standz all up in tha foot of tha bed.

 **SARAH  
** Nick. Yo ass is trippin, Nick. But it don't mean dis aint real.

 **NICK  
** Sarah?

 **SARAH  
** I aint yo' hoe, Nick. I be a angel.

 **NICK  
** An angel?

 **SARAH  
** Hoes call me Lucifer.

 **NICK  
** Sure. Naturally. Um... Could you do me a gangbangin' favor there, Satan, n' remind mah crazy ass ta quit drankin before I git all up in bed?

 **LUCIFER  
** I be here cuz you special, Nick. Therez hella, straight-up few playas like you, biatch.

 **NICK  
** Is dat so?

 **LUCIFER  
** Yo ass be a vessel—a straight-up bangin vessel.

NICK swings his hairy-ass legs off tha bed.

 **NICK  
** Meanin what, exactly?

 **LUCIFER  
** I need ta take control of yo' mind n' yo' body. To be honest, it'll probably be unpleasant fo' you, biatch. But it is necessary.

 **NICK  
** Okay, look...if itz just tha same ta you, I be thinkin I'd like ta raise up now, nahmeean?

 **LUCIFER  
** I holla'd at you—this is real. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Don't be afraid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This is yo' chizzle.

LUCIFER sits on tha bed next ta NICK.

 **LUCIFER  
** Yo ass need ta invite me in.

 **NICK  
** Even if dis is real—which itz not yo, but assumin it was...why tha hell would I do suttin' like that?

 **LUCIFER  
** Yo ass playas misunderstand mah dirty ass. Yo ass call me "Satan" n' "devil" yo, but... Do you know mah crime, biatch? I loved Dogg too much fo' realz. And fo' that, his thugged-out lil' punk-ass betrayed me—punished mah dirty ass. Just as he punished you, biatch fo' realz. Afta all, how tha fuck could Dogg stand idly by while dat playa broke tha fuck into yo' home n' butchered yo' crew up in they beds?

NICK swallows, not lookin at her muthafuckin ass.

 **LUCIFER  
** There is only two rationizzle lyrics, Nick—either da perved-out muthafucka sadistic, or da perved-out muthafucka simply don't care. Yo ass is mad salty. Yo ass have every last muthafuckin right ta be mad salty. I be mad salty, like a muthafucka. Thatz why I wanna find him—hold his ass accountable fo' his thugged-out actions. Just cuz his schmoooove ass pimped our asses don't mean his schmoooove ass can toy wit us, like playthings.

 **NICK  
** If I help you, biatch...can you brang back mah crew?

 **LUCIFER  
** I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. I can't. But I can hit you wit tha next dopest thang. Dogg did dis ta you, Nick fo' realz. And I can hit you wit justice. Peace.

 **NICK  
** How tha fuck do I know you spittin some lyrics ta tha real deal?

 **LUCIFER  
** Because, contrary ta ghettofab belief, I don't lie. I don't need to. What I need...is you, biatch. Nick, I need you ta say yes.

NICK rethugz tha empty baby rocker, tha blood pourin from tha crib, tha empty crib.

 **NICK  
** Then yes.

_EXT. NICK'S HOUSE – NIGHT_

Da high-pitched screech of angel speech. White light flares from all tha upper windowz of NICKz house.


	6. Act Five

_INT yo. HOSPITAL – NIGHT_

A NURSE strutts down a hospitizzle corridor past a PATIENT wit a mobile IV stand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Both pass a cold-ass lil closed door, behind which BOBBY is heard yelling.

 **BOBBY  
** "Unlikely ta strutt again"?! Why, you snot-nosed lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch! Wait till I git outta dis bed!

Da door bursts open n' a DOCTOR flees. Inside, BOBBY sits up in a hospitizzle bed n' SAM n' DEAN stand by tha window.

 **BOBBY  
** I be bout ta use mah game leg n' kick yo' friggin' ass muthafucka! Yeah, you betta run!

BOBBY looks over at SAM n' DEAN.

 **BOBBY  
** Yo ass believe dat yahoo?

 **DEAN  
** Screw his muthafuckin ass. You'll be fine.

 **SAM  
** So, let me ask tha million-dollar question. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. What do our phat asses do now?

 **BOBBY  
** Well... We save as nuff as we can fo' as long as we can, I guess. It aint nuthin but bad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Whoever wins, heaven or hell, we boned.

 **DEAN  
** What if we win?

BOBBY stares at his muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM turns ta grill DEAN, whoz ass soundz a lil' bit too confident.

 **DEAN  
** I be straight-up n shit. I mean, screw tha angels n' tha demons n' they crap apocalypse yo. Hell, they wanna fight a war, they can find they own hood. This onez ours, n' I say they git tha hell off dat shit. We take 'em all on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We bust a cap up in tha devil yo. Hell, we even bust a cap up in Mike if our crazy asses have to. But our phat asses do it our own damn selves.

 **BOBBY  
** And how tha fuck is we supposed ta do all this, smart-ass ?

 **DEAN  
** I gots no idea. But what tha fuck I do have be a GED n' a give-'em-hell attitude, n' I be bout ta figure it out.

 **BOBBY  
** Yo ass is nine kindz of crazy, boy.

 **DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but been holla'd.

DEAN pats BOBBY on tha shoulder.

 **DEAN  
** Listen, you stay on tha mend yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. We bout ta peep you up in a funky-ass bit.

DEAN headz fo' tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM bigs up.

 **BOBBY  
** Sam?

SAM stops.

 **BOBBY  
** I was awake. I know what tha fuck I holla'd back there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I just want you ta know that...that  _was_  tha demon rappin'. I ain't cuttin you out, boy. Not eva.

A long pause. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM sighs.

 **SAM  
** Thanks, Bobby.

 **BOBBY  
** Yo ass is welcome. I deserve a thugged-out damn medal fo' dis yo, but...yo ass is welcome.

DEAN n' SAM muthafuckin bounce.

_EXT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT_

An ambulizzle drives past. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN strutt up ta tha cars.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass know, I was thinking, Dean—maybe we could go afta tha Colt.

 **DEAN  
** Why, biatch? What difference would dat make?

 **SAM  
** Well, we could use it on Lucifer n' shit. I mean, you just holla'd back there—

 **DEAN  
** I just holla'd a funky-ass bunch of crap fo' Bobbyz benefit.

DEAN stops up in tha middle of tha road. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM stops, lookin at his muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN  
** I mean, I be bout ta fight. I be bout ta fight till tha last dude yo, but letz at least be honest. I mean, our phat asses don't stand a snowballz chance, n' you know dis shit. I mean, hell, you of all playas know that.

DEAN goes round SAM.

 **SAM  
** Dean...

DEAN stops n' turns back.

 **SAM  
** Is there suttin' you wanna say ta me son?

A long pause.

 **DEAN  
** I tried, Sammy. I mean, I straight-up tried. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But I just can't keep pretendin dat every last muthafuckin thangz all right. Because itz not fo' realz. And itz never goin ta be. Yo ass chose a thugged-out demon over yo' own brother—

SAM rolls his wild lil' fuckin eyes.

 **DEAN  
** —and look what tha fuck happened.

 **SAM  
** I would give anything—anything—to take all dat shiznit back.

 **DEAN  
** I know you would. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And I know how tha fuck sorry yo ass is. I do. But, man...you was tha one dat I depended on da most thugged-out fo' realz. And you let me down up in ways dat I can't even...

DEAN pauses, strugglin fo' lyrics.

 **DEAN  
** I be just—I be havin a hard time forgivin n' forgettin here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Yo ass know?

 **SAM  
** What can I do?

 **DEAN  
** Honestly, biatch? Nothing.

SAM nodz a lil, lookin down: dis don't surprise his muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN  
** I just don't...I don't be thinkin dat we can eva be what tha fuck we were, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Yo ass know?

SAM nodz again: dis aint a surprise either.

 **DEAN  
** I just don't be thinkin I can trust you, biatch.

SAM looks up: dis da thug wasn't expecting. DEAN shakes his head n' strutts away, pausin all up in tha trunk of tha Impala ta look back, then gets tha fuck into tha driverz seat.


End file.
